Beyond the Diagnosis: Embracing 35 Years of Life with HIV

by Ivan Rubell

Back in 1989, life threw me a curveball. They called it HIV, and back then, it was a whole different ballgame. Fear was everywhere, and the future seemed bleak. But I wasn't about to let it define me. Instead of dwelling on the "what-ifs," I focused on the "what-nows." One thing I noticed was the weight loss some folks with HIV faced. Not wanting that to happen, I adopted a "eat more, stay strong" mentality. It helped me maintain normalcy in my daily life.

Of course, it wasn't all sunshine and rainbows. Telling people about my status was nerve-wracking. Some folks were cool, others, well, not so much. Some wouldn't share a meal with me, and some even avoided any interaction, fueled by fear or misunderstanding. I learned a valuable lesson: I control my life, not their opinions. I am worthy, and I won't let anyone tell me otherwise.

That's when the AIDS Outreach Center (AOC) became my lifeline. Walking through those doors was like stepping into a warm embrace. They didn't judge, they just helped. From practical stuff like bills and groceries to emotional support, they were there. I found a community of people who understood, who shared my struggles, and who celebrated my victories. I know there's one place I can turn to when I'm bothered or having a bad day. Whether it's making a call or dropping by to talk to someone, AOC provides that comfort. From the bottom to top, the opportunity to speak with someone is there and it makes a significant difference. 

It wasn't just about receiving help, it was also about giving back. Originally an AOC CAB Member, I transitioned to volunteering when the pandemic hit, driven by a commitment to ensuring continuity of care for other AOC clients. AOC needed a hand, and I was there. Seeing the fear and uncertainty in others' eyes brought back memories, but it also fueled my determination to help. AOC took me in, and now it was my turn to do the same.

Today, I'm proud to be part of the AOC team, supporting others on their journeys. The lessons I learned, the strength I found, I share it all. Living with HIV doesn't have to define you. It can make you stronger, more resilient. There's hope, there's support, and there's a whole lot of living left to do. So, take my advice, stay on track with your treatment, find your community, and remember: "Just because you are HIV+, your life is not over. Your life is stronger because you have something to live for, something to fight for."

Living with HIV for 35 years has been a journey of growth and despite the challenges I continue to flourish.